The news, with a bit of spin

Gail Falkenberg, 79, still in ITF qualifying: the C30.4 recalculates her ranking

On 3 November, in the first round of qualifying at the W35 in Orlando, American Gail Falkenberg, 79, lost 6-0, 6-0 to fellow American Aspen Schuman, 19, the sixth seed. She had not played a recorded professional match since 2023.

Céline at her kitchen table, bent over a statistics binder and a calculator, with a goals list that includes Orlando.

Gail Falkenberg is 79 and on Tuesday she was in the first round of qualifying at the W35 in Orlando, Florida. She lost 6-0, 6-0 to Aspen Schuman, 19, the number 6 seed. Sixty years between them. I read it last night, my statistics folder open on the kitchen table, and I got the calculator out.

Because here’s the thing. She turned pro at 38. I’m 34. So, technically, I still have four years on her. She reached world number 360 in December 1987. Me, I’m C30.4, a club-level ranking, a transitional one, and my season really starts in May.

I ran the numbers three times. If she’s still playing at 79, I have forty-five years ahead of me. At two practice sessions a week, that’s a lot of Tuesday evenings on court 4. Even if court 4 is never free.

And then there’s 2016. At 69, in Pelham, Alabama, she beats Rosalyn Small, 22, 6-0, 6-1. Guinness World Records: oldest woman to win a match on the ITF circuit. Six-love, six-one. One game dropped. Me, in club league (interclubs, Belgium’s weekend team league), I drop more than that in the warm-up.

In the next round she took a 6-0, 6-0 from Taylor Townsend. In 2013, in Rock Hill, another 6-0, 6-0, against Naomi Osaka, 15. What I see is a woman who accepts double bagels in public, and comes back. That’s a pattern. There are intentions in there.

Céline, you’ve never taken a 6-0, 6-0. You retire at 0-4 saying it’s the strings.

Jean-Pol Vandenbroeck · the pundit, fictional character

It was the strings. And it was pouring. Anyway, I wrote “W35 Orlando” in my folder, on the objectives page, just under “record”. Two practice sessions away, mind you.

It’s true, we checked: Tennis Actu.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « Céline regarde l'endurance de Falkenberg à travers son propre classement : on rit d'elle, jamais de la joueuse, qui pourrait partager. Le « lundi soir » est à corriger en « mardi soir » avant publication. »

Gail Falkenberg joue encore à 79 ans : Jean-Pol l’avait dit dès janvier

L'Américaine Gail Falkenberg, née en 1947, a perdu 6-0, 6-0 contre Aspen Schuman, 19 ans, au premier tour des qualifications du W35 d'Orlando le 3 novembre. Elle avait commencé sa carrière professionnelle à 38 ans et atteint le 360e rang mondial en 1987.

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The editor-in-chief’s comment Bon Jean-Pol de mauvaise foi, mais le « il valait mieux s'arrêter » semble viser la joueuse de 79 ans, et l'autodérision passe par des défaites inventées plutôt que par elle.

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MaximeThe Intern

Gail Falkenberg, 79 ans, au W35 d’Orlando : Maxime cherche l’âge limite

Gail Falkenberg, Américaine de 79 ans, a disputé le 3 novembre les qualifications du W35 d'Orlando, perdues 6-0, 6-0 contre Aspen Schuman, 19 ans. En 2016, elle était devenue la joueuse la plus âgée à gagner un match sur le circuit ITF, selon le Guinness World Records.

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The editor-in-chief’s comment Maxime candide et juste sur l'âge minimum sans âge maximum, mais c'est mou, et « le lendemain, elle rejoue » ajoute une date que le noyau ne donne pas.

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MoniqueThe Nostalgic

Gail Falkenberg, 79 ans, battue 6-0, 6-0 à Orlando : Monique compare les tableaux

Mardi 3 novembre, au premier tour des qualifications du W35 d'Orlando, Gail Falkenberg, 79 ans, s'est inclinée 6-0, 6-0 face à Aspen Schuman, 19 ans et tête de série n°6. L'Américaine avait déjà perdu sur le même score contre Naomi Osaka en 2013 et Taylor Townsend en 2016.

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The editor-in-chief’s comment Le whist de la tante est tendre, mais la pique contre celui qui a fait le tableau tire vers l'amertume, « le lendemain » est inventé, et la chute ne déclenche qu'un sourire.

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