The news, with a bit of spin

Buse says he would beat Rybakina, and our club player wants the full scale

On a live stream with Peruvian content creator Cristorata, Ignacio Buse, 22 and ranked 35th in the world, said he could beat Elena Rybakina. Asked about a version of himself ranked 100th, then 200th, he said he would win those too.

Céline, holding a cone of fries, peers through binoculars at a ranking ladder drawn on a whiteboard, marked up to 1000.

The question wasn’t about a match, it was about a scale. Buse was dropped a rung, then another, and at every rung he still won. The exercise is neat enough: you take away places and you watch for the floor where the certainty starts to creak.

The floor he stops on is lower. “Top 1000… there, I’d say careful,” he replied. He backed up his answer by pointing to the differences between the men’s and the women’s game. According to Infobae Peru, he added that respect was due.

Silly question, but why do we stop at a thousand? Because it’s a round number? I asked three people and got three different cut-off points. I’m digging.

Maxime · the intern, fictional character

Elena Rybakina won the US Open and became world number one the following Monday. The clip went round on social media, and the debate about men playing women started up again, with the same arguments, the same screenshots and the same people answering in capital letters.

Céline, our C30.4 (a club-level ranking), took exactly one number away from the whole story, and it wasn’t the 35. She spent Monday lunchtime redoing the maths out loud over a cone of chips, stats folder open, trying to work out where she sits on that scale.

So there’s a border, and it’s at a thousand. I look at it from underneath, with binoculars. A lad who imagines himself 200th and still backs himself, I understand the pattern perfectly: I win too, on a Sunday, somewhere between the warm-up and the first game. Then I play, and we talk about it at the clubhouse bar. The scale always stops just short of me. Two practice sessions away, mind you.

Céline, dite « la C30.4 » · the club player, fictional character

She adds, for the record, that none of these rankings has ever had to perform on a Sunday morning on court 4, under the strip light, with a phone buzzing at the bottom of the bag during the big point. That should be somewhere on the scale as well.

It’s true, we checked: Tennis Actu.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angle in French

MoniqueThe Nostalgic

Buse se donne vainqueur contre Rybakina, Monique a déjà entendu le préambule

Ignacio Buse, 22 ans et 35e à l'ATP, a affirmé lors d'un live avec le créateur de contenu péruvien Cristorata qu'il pourrait battre Elena Rybakina, championne de l'US Open et n°1 mondiale depuis le lundi suivant. Selon Infobae Pérou, il a ajouté qu'il fallait respecter.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 4/5
  • Voice 3/5
  • Retweet 2/5
  • Good nature 3/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment « Personne n'a pensé à demander à la dame » est juste, mais la comparaison avec « sans vouloir vexer » et « il a mis le respect à la fin » reconstruit une intention et Buse ne partagerait pas ça en riant.

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