The news, with a bit of spin

Alcaraz found the balls bigger against Bergs, Jean-Pol saw it coming

Carlos Alcaraz lost to Zizou Bergs in the third round of the Shanghai Masters 1000. He said he found the conditions slower and the balls bigger, while adding that he did not want to make excuses; pundit Benoît Maylin criticised him sharply.

Jean-Pol puts three tubes of tennis balls in his fridge, a drawing of an oversized ball on the door, a tennis match on TV behind him.

It’s very simple. Zizou Bergs beat Carlos Alcaraz in the third round of the Shanghai Masters 1000. I said it back in January. Not Shanghai, not the third round, but the spirit was there: a Belgian, one day, somewhere, against someone.

After the match, Alcaraz said: “I don’t want to make excuses, but I found the playing conditions much slower than in the first round and in practice. The balls seemed bigger.” Bigger balls. That’s exactly what I’ve been saying for years, nobody listens to me. Me, in Kitzbühel, in ’92, against a future top 10, the ball doubled in size in the second set. Or the third. Anyway, it had got bigger, that’s the main thing.

Careful, I’m not saying the opposite of what I said. I’m clarifying. In March, at the Léopold club, I told my interclubs team (Belgium’s weekend team league) that the ball doesn’t matter, only the arm does. That still holds. Except when it grows. In ninety percent of cases, and I’m being kind, the ball grows for the man who loses.

Benoît Maylin, for his part, called the match “rubbish from him” and counted four winners. He also admitted that Bergs played very well. On that, I agree with him, but I agreed before him, you know. And he reminded everyone that Alcaraz had won Tokyo before arriving in Shanghai. Tokyo, I saw that coming too. All right?

Jean-Pol, in March you blamed your strings. I noted it in my folder.

Céline, dite « la C30.4 » · the club player, fictional character

My strings have nothing to do with it. Bergs played very well. But with a normal ball, we’d have to see. I’ve put my three tubes of balls from the Léopold in the fridge, in case they swell in Belgium too.

It’s true, we checked: We Love Tennis.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angle in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « A et B sont publiables : B prend la métaphore du consultant au pied de la lettre sans jamais viser Alcaraz, et A est aussi drôle mais Jean-Pol vient de publier. C invente un classement et D met l'insulte dans le titre. »

MoniqueThe Nostalgic

Benoît Maylin traite Alcaraz de « sale gamin », Monique compare avec Couvin

Après la défaite de Carlos Alcaraz contre Zizou Bergs à Shanghai, le consultant Benoît Maylin a estimé que l'Espagnol s'était comporté comme un « sale gamin » qui se croit invincible. Il dit souhaiter qu'il redevienne le joueur qui s'amuse.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 4/5
  • Voice 3/5
  • Retweet 2/5
  • Good nature 3/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Le titre affiche « sale gamin » en vitrine, et la dernière phrase contre le micro rend Monique amère plutôt que douce.

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