The news, with a bit of spin

Djokovic, 34-0 in Beijing, finds tennis cruel: Monique compares it with whist

Novak Djokovic won the Beijing tournament, where he is now 34-0, after beating Zverev and Medvedev. He told a press conference that tennis is cruel because it is played as a knockout.

Monique shuffles cards at a whist table with tart and coffee, facing a male player holding a trophy in front of press microphones.

The young man has won again in Beijing. Thirty-four times, I’m told, and never lost. He beat Zverev and Medvedev this week.

Then they sat him in front of microphones and asked him why tennis was so demanding. He said it was a cruel sport, knockout. That you can’t stay on the bench and wait for someone to come and replace you. That you can lose in the first round because of a bad night’s sleep, or food poisoning.

He also said Turin is the only tournament of the year played in round-robin groups. Once a year, then.

Back home, at whist, my aunt played in groups all year round. Whoever lost a hand stayed at the table, was given more coffee, and the cards were reshuffled, for a very long time. Nobody went home before the rice tart. That was called an evening.

The young man wins thirty-four times, and they still ask him to talk about defeat.

The gentleman with the microphone could ask another question.

It’s true, we checked: We Love Tennis.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angle in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « C retourne le chiffre phare contre la persona avec une chute qui tient seule, sans rien inventer sur le joueur. A est plus drôle par endroits mais ajoute des faits. »

Djokovic à Pékin : « 100 % de dévouement », la C30.4 en est à deux entraînements

Novak Djokovic a remporté le tournoi de Pékin, où il n'a jamais perdu en 34 matchs, en écartant notamment Zverev et Medvedev. Il a ensuite déclaré que le tennis exige un dévouement à 100 % dans tous les aspects de la vie.

  • Funniness 4/5
  • Faithfulness 4/5
  • Voice 4/5
  • Retweet 4/5
  • Good nature 4/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Le « jamais perdu à Pékin, jamais allée » est une chute parfaite et le 100 % moins deux entraînements tient, même si farde, essuie, GSM et cornet font trop de belgicismes.

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