The news, with a bit of spin

Kostyuk reaches the quarters without hitting a ball, and Jean-Pol saw it coming

Top seed at the Guadalajara Open, Marta Kostyuk has qualified for the quarter-finals without playing a single point: a first-round bye, then a walkover when Taylor Townsend withdrew through illness in the second round.

Jean-Pol points at a draw board reading "BYE" and "W.O." leading to the quarters, balls still unopened.

Two rounds, no points. Marta Kostyuk, the world number 10, came through the first round of the Guadalajara Open on a top seed’s bye, and the second when Taylor Townsend pulled out on Wednesday through illness.

In the quarter-finals she plays Liudmila Samsonova, the eighth seed, who beat Kayla Day 7-6 (7-4), 2-6, 7-6 (7-5). Two tie-breaks, three sets, a full afternoon of work on one side of the net; a bye and a withdrawal on the other. The draw sheet records both as a win, which is the whole comedy of the thing.

Jean-Pol Vandenbroeck had seen this one coming.

Right, it’s very simple. I said it the moment the draw came out: at that level the draw does ninety per cent of the work, and I’m being kind. Careful, I’m not saying she did nothing. I’m clarifying that she managed what she didn’t have to do extremely well. That’s an art, you know.

Jean-Pol Vandenbroeck · the pundit, fictional character

Reminded that Kostyuk won her first WTA 1000 title in Madrid in May, the pundit conceded the point in his own particular way, then produced a personal precedent whose details tend to move around.

Madrid, yes, excellent, but. I’ve been repeating for years that a top seed is at her most dangerous when she hasn’t played, and nobody listens. Me, in Kitzbühel, in ’92, I won a round exactly like that. Well, the opponent didn’t turn up, but I played the next day, and played well, so the point was scored somewhere. Nobody has ever rung me about it. All right?

Jean-Pol Vandenbroeck · the pundit, fictional character

The rest of Kostyuk’s season did involve actual tennis balls: that first WTA 1000 title in Madrid in May, semi-finals at Roland-Garros and Wimbledon, then a fourth-round loss at the US Open, at 24, to sixth seed Linda Noskova.

So she will play her first point of the tournament in the quarter-finals, against Samsonova.

It’s true, we checked: BBC Sport.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.